Sex Lexicon

Pass

Primarily a term used within the transgender community that basically means a person is perceived as the gender they identify as. 

Passing is much more than just having people see you as the gender you identify as. It can bring up issues relating to discrimination, violence, privilege, medical care and treatment, etc. 

Although passing is a highly desirable quality for many transgender folks, it is not always the case. Several transgender people chose not to elect hormone therapy or gender transition surgery.

Many people believe it is easier to pass as a FTM (female to male) than a MTF (male to female).

 

Packing

Mostly refers to when a non penis owner creates a male looking and/or feeling phallus in their crotch.

Soft packing refers to creating a flaccid phallus to wear under clothing. Hard packing refers to creating an erect penis (usually by wearing a dildo) that is hard enough for penetration. Also known as pack and play. 

You can usually find items that are suitable for packing on many sex toy websites, and they are usually found under the category named "gender expression".

There are many realistic packing toys on the market that create the feeling and overall appearance of a flaccid penis. 

Packing can be done for different reasons--some are worn by those who identify as female to male (FTM) transgender, some are worn by drag kings, some are worn for fun, some are worn for gender play, etc.  

(photo of traditional soft packing items that come in a variety of colors)

(photo of one of the most popular items when it comes to hard packing)

OTPHJ (Over The Pants Hand Job)

Acronym for over-the-pants-hand-job. 

During my first few years of high school, I gave many otphjs.

Otphj are a great alternative when considering STIs and sexual risk. 

(short video clip of someone saying "okay say over the pants hands job.")

Over-the-Pants Hand Job 

On the Rag

Slang for when a female is having her period. The term is thought to have originated in the late 1800 - early 1900's. In the past, when a woman was menstruating, they used to wear rags that were secured on the body by wearing a belt. 

Some women dislike using sanitary napkins or pads when on the rag because they say it makes them feel like they are wearing a mini mattress. 

(advertisement for feminine hygiene products from 1902)

(picture of feminine hygiene products from the 19th century)

NSU (Non Specific Urethritis)

Inflammation and infection of the urethra--the tube that carries urine from the bladder out of the body--where the cause has not yet been identified. NSU has several causes, but the majority include STIs from anal, oral, or vaginal sexual activity.

NSU is one of the most common reasons males visit their sexual health clinic.

Many people never develop symptoms of NSU, but it can be successfully treated with antibiotics. 

(photo of a banner that reads: Non Specific Urethritis (NSU) what's the situation?)

Nonoxynol-9

Active ingredient in many (foams, films, gels, suppository inserts, condom lubricant) over the counter (OTC) spermicidal lubricants. It has been used since the 1950's as pregnancy prevention as it is a detergent that disrupts the pH balance and outer cell structure of sperm.

More recent studies have shown that Nonoxynol-9, also known as Non-9 or N-9, potentially damage the delicate lining of the vagina and rectum. In fact, use of the product can make you more susceptible for HIV/STI infection.

Nonoxynol-9 was originally said to be safe for anal sex as it was thought the ingredient lessened the risk of HIV transmission. It was later learned that the chemicals in the product (basically a detergent) irritated and inflamed rectal tissue making HIV infection more likely. The results were significant enough that the city of San Francisco called for a ban on Nonoxynol-9.

For more information on what you need to know about Nonoxynol-9,  please go here.

(photo of various contraceptives that include Nonoxynol-9)

(photo of the warning label on a product about the ingredient, Nonoxynol-9)

Nocturnal Emission

When a male ejaculates in his sleep. Women can also get them, but it usually involves vaginal lubrication and not ejaculation. Also known as wet dreams.

Although they are most common amongst adolescent males and young adult males, nocturnal emissions can happen at any age.

Alfred Kinsey's studies of female nocturnal emissions lead him to come up with this definition--sexual arousal during sleep that awakens one to perceive the experience of orgasm.

(drawing of research data on males and age of nocturnal emission)

Nipple Clamps

Clamps (think about old timey clothes pins) used during sexual activity that can be placed on the nipples of a male or female that restrict blood flow resulting in pain/pressure. 

Nipple clamps can vary in style and some have a vibrating or electrical option. 

You do not need to have your nipples pierced in order to use nipple clamps. 

(photo of a male who is tied up and wearing nipple clamps)

(drawing of nipple clamps being used on a woman's breasts)

(photo of a few of the various styles/types of nipple clamps)

Genital Shame

The feeling or suspicion that your genitals do not conform to the narrow ideal that you tend to see in porn movies and medical text books. 

As a sex educator, one of my biggest issues is the concept to genital shame. People limit or exclude certain sexual activities based on the feeling that their genitals are too big, too small, too wet, too dry, the wrong color, smell bad, etc. 

Designer vaginas are a direct, invasive, and frightening result of rampant genital shame.

One of my mantras is "say no to genital shame!"

(hand drawn video addressing female genital shame)

 

Munch

Social events within the kink/poly/alternative community that are held at public venues where no sex occurs. 

If you are new to the community or on the fence about a certain subject, munches are a great way to meet and become introduced to more experienced members. 

Munches are a way to meet others living a certain lifestyle with out the pressure of engaging/participating/observing sexual play. 

(photo for a munch of SX! (Southern Cross) members less than a mile from my home--who knew?)